Well….let me just tell you up front, this post is probably going to be useless. I’m not even precisely sure what I’m going to say here (I have a general concept in my mind), but I’ve known for some time that the kind of person that I want in the Oval office doesn’t exist. The closest approximation that I can think of is an iron version of Jon Stewart. Stewart as a comedian/entertainer/faux newsman is AAA quality, stellar stuff. But as a leader….I just can’t see it. I don’t see an unmitigated fire in his eyes and the ability to use that fire at exactly the right moments, in just the right amount. And I sure as hell don’t see an Iron Jon Stewart anywhere else in the public purview….certainly not in any public office, that’s for goddamn sure.
I think the key is fire. Politicians are mind-numbingly bland; when I think of bland pols, the first image that comes to my mind is not Mitt Romney, not even close. It’s Harry Reid. He is such a paragon of spineless bitch democrats that it makes my head hurt. He’s small in stature, he’s small in words, he’s meek and he has no idea how to deal with republicans. I remember a while ago, on some large issue or the other (possibly TARP), his base was asking him why he couldn’t get the legislation pushed through even though democrats controlled BOTH houses of congress by wide margins. What does Harry Reid say? “What can I do? We’re shy of 60 seats in the senate; we don’t have a filibuster-proof majority. Where do you want me to get the votes from?” Now….even just thinking about this makes me so mad; I can feel my blood pressure going up and I’m about to think in rectangles and talk dog. My problem is not that he couldn’t get that particular piece of legislation pushed through. I can’t even remember what the legislation was for christ’s sake. I don’t even know if it was good or bad legislation. I do not CARE. The thing that galls me the most is that you have strong-but-wrong republicans jamming you and your response is to act like a dickless wimp and essentially acquiesce because you don’t have the sheer goddamn numbers??? WHAT??!??!?! The republicans are steamrolling you FROM THE MINORITY POSITION!!!! I don’t care if I’m in the minority on an issue, or if I’m in the majority on an issue, or if I’m ostensibly living on the moon on an issue. If I am CLEARLY logically correct on an issue, you are going to hear from me over….and over….and over again until you either see that you’re wrong or until everyone else sees that I’M RIGHT. In the end I WILL prevail; it’s just that simple, there are no two ways about it.
Harry Reid is a wilting lily; he gets crushed like an ant under the heels of Limbaugh-esque/Phil Gramm-esque personalities. Which is really a joke, because those are extremist personalities; those are people that live on the fringes. And America is not an extremist country; there is a middle here, a center. And guess what? The middle is where elections are always decided. And the middle is malleable, susceptible to both pompous strong-but-wrong arguments and uncompromising, unwavering logic. And guess what else? Uncompromising logic – that is informed by pure fire – beats pompous every…single…time. Harry Reid says “I don’t know what to do; I don’t have the votes.” OH MY GOD, you fucking child. You should BLAST the airwaves, day in and day out, about why you’re right and the republicans are wrong, and have an army of your peers saturate all forms of media with clear, cogent, logical arguments in the same vein. If logic is on your side, and your arguments are undeniable, then the public will side with you. But they will NOT side with you if a) you’re actually wrong, or b) you were castrated at birth and every time you try to make an argument, you end up whimpering instead.
Now the funny thing is that republicans employ this exact strategy. Except they do it in a very simple, digestible, dumbed-down sound-bite driven way. They come up with 2 and 3 word mantras and have all their minions repeat them day in and day out. And it appears to be pretty instinctive for them; someone adds an entry into the republican lexicon and all their compatriots run with it. Eg. “Obamacare.” That’s it. That’s the whole argument. Say that over and over again. “Cut spending.” Repeat over and over. “Job-killing regulations.” That’s it; repeat over and over. “They want to increase taxes.” Repeat over and over. And this kind of single-brain celled arguing is effective because it colors the national dialogue. And that just goes back to my point: there is a middle in America, a non-extremist middle full of dolts and bipeds that are just WAITING for you to fill their empty heads with your “expert” grandiose thoughts. I mean the middle in America is so witless that they can be swayed by rote republican 2–word mantras, and despite that, Harry Reid….you can’t figure out how to beat republicans?? Are you fucking kidding me???? DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO EXCEPT BE SMARTER!!!! What part of that is that complicated to you??
I’ll give you an example: regulations. Republican gospel is “max deregulation”. I’m sure some of them make some concessions, but the bottom line is that as a republican, you can never go too far when you talk about cutting regulations. And republicans make their arguments in favor of deregulation in their typical stupid way: “We need to cut onerous regulations that are stifling our job creators.” Repeat over and over again. (If you’re Rick Perry, maybe you don’t use so many multi-syllable words.) Now….in 2007 we had a financial crisis. I went over this in a previous post; the culpable parties were numerous: irresponsible home-owners, predatory lenders, Fannie & Freddie, Wall Street wizards that packaged together CDOs, people that bought the CDOs, and people that issued CDSs. But the key is that if hedge funds and the derivatives markets had been subject to sensible oversight & regulations, and (sad that this even has to be said) if those regulations were correctly enforced, the worst financial meltdown since the great depression would have been averted. Now how many times have you heard a democrat say that? ….I’m waiting. Maybe a few scattered souls here and there? And that too, you would only hear it if you’re a popcorn political junkie like me. Now on the other hand….how many times have you heard a republican say “Obama has spent trillions and increased the debt”? Or “Obama is killing jobs,” or “Obama wants to tax the job creators” or “Obamacare needs to be repealed,” or “Obama is engaging in class warfare,” or “Obama is the most liberal president in the history of the United States,” or, the main line of the discussion, “Obama is burdening our job creators with onerous regulations”? THAT is the problem. Republicans let their narrative flow like diarrhea and Harry Reid sits there and lets it drip all over him. And quite frankly, so does Obama. It is beyond ridiculous; on the issue of regulations, the facts are SQUARELY on your side….I mean we just went through a crisis that almost took down every economy in the world because we didn’t have proper fucking regulations, and Harry Reid sits there holding his dick in his hand while republicans have the BALLS to pop off on the issue?? He is such a dripping wet moron it makes me sick; all he has to do is EXACTLY what the republicans do, i.e. have his army repeat “Deregulation caused the financial crisis” over and over again, except that a) since you’re not a dim-witted Rick Perry-esque republican, you can actually frame your argument in a coherent and substantive fashion, and b) uhhhhh…..you’re the one that has every single fucking fact on your side!!!!! What kind of an idiot do you have to be to lose on this issue? If I was running the show and I heard a republican even BEGIN to say “deregulation”, I would fuck them so hard they wouldn’t be able to sit down until after the election. I would view their bringing up the topic as an invitation for me to educate the public on the issue, and believe me, I would go on….and on….and on until either the republicans were tired of having my cock drum their foreheads or until my arguments beat the republicans’ in the eyes of the public. And since this is a very simple argument to make, a 2 + 2 = 4 type of argument….I would win. I would not stop until I did.
This is what I’m saying; this is the type of leader we need. We need an ultra-strong, ultra-logical yet charismatic figure that knows how to put together constructive plans for the future but who also knows, at the same time, how to ruthlessly take apart the opposition. Especially when the opposition employs 2-bit arguments that seem like they were formed by 3rd graders. Hell, to be honest, you don’t even have to be ruthless. You just need to not be dickless like Harry Reid or Barack Obama. You know, the name that swirls in my head lately….it’ll sound strange, this is a name that you either won’t be familiar with or you probably just won’t instantly agree with….but I feel like we need someone like Joe Scarborough. He just fits the bill in so many categories. He’s got fire for days, he’s demonstrated his chops by having spearheaded the movement to oust Newt Gingrich as speaker of the house when he (Scarborough) was a freakin freshman congressman….he’s got coalitions, he is absolutely a real, genuine person, he is not an ideologue, he’s a peerlessly strong debater, he talks when he knows and listens when he doesn’t, and he’s got a friggin sense of humor. He’s a conservative but he’s a solid conservative: rational, sense-based, strong personality, and most importantly, he is not an ideologue. It might sound strange to hear me hammer republicans and then bring up a conservative as my template for the ideal leader, but as I’ve said before, I agree with more conservative and libertarian positions than anything. I just simply cannot stand republican irrationality, and Scarborough is not an irrational republican. Scarborough is the template; if you could take him and refine him, and give him even more weapons and tools, and give him endless charisma and unrelenting force of personality….that leader would be at the zenith. That leader would be an unstoppable force. Now THAT’S the leader I want to see, and you know what? Given the bitterly divided and vitriolic, hyperbolic, partisan internet/talk radio/cable tv news times that we live in….I bet a leader like that would hit just the right nerves with many, many people in this country.
1/20/2012 – Christ
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